It's a bunch of chain bars! Nothing original. Nothing unique. Just a bunch of "neat" looking buildings that all connect and surprise, surprise each establishment has it's own theme! You have your Mosaic Lounge for all the chic Barbie dolls to go lounge at in their best cocktail dresses. Angels Rock Bar where you can get slooted up in your best rocker girl garb and barely hear the person next to you. There's Tengo Sed Cantina, which I honestly don't know what that place is about. A mexican joint that you go dance at(?) You got me there... Then there's the PBR where apparently you can drink cheap beer? I highly doubt it's cheap though. And also McFadden's Sports Saloon which is a popular gathering place before any and all events at the Sprint Center across the street. The best part of all of this is that all of the guys, no matter what bar they are at, wear the exact same thing. Light colored jeans, a striped button down top (no undershirt) or a pink polo. Bonus points for shoes that look like duck bills. All of them. I'm serious. It's hilarious. Who likes those guys?! I don't get it.
Anyway....
I was (un)lucky enough to go to Shark Bar! I walked in painfully optimistic. I really tried to put my best game face on and was ready for whatever was ahead. I walk in and all I can think of is Gilligan's Island, and I've never seen Gilligan's Island. The busty girl bartenders wear bikini tops and shorty shorts, the guy bartenders go bare chested and all of them seemed to favor giant girl sunglasses. The decor was all beach housey and I have to say I thought for a few seconds that it was pretty cool. I made my way to the bar and ordered a bottle of Bud Light. FIVE DOLLARS (including tip)! Strike one. We made our way to the "dance floor" and stood around for a while. I was totally loving the music. Britney, Chirstina, nSync, LFO, Vengaboys...
WAIT A SECOND!! All this music was from the 90's! Sudden fear runs through my veins. I. Am. Old. I'm at a 90's bar. Not an 80's bar. A 90's bar. That means the 90's is vintage. Old. Ancient. The kids think it's "funny". OMG! Then I take a look around. Apparently the 80's are back in style. I'm so confused! Too many decades all at once! I thought I looked super cool in my True Religion Jeans and black bat wing shirt. I look to my right and there it is. The crowning jewel of the night. A super cute, super popular little brunette was dancing up on the riser wearing these.....
That's right. Stirrup Pants. I'll give you a second to digest that.Stirrup pants. I nearly fell over in a dead faint right there. I made my friend take a picture, but I can't bare to have her send it to me, the memories are too painful. See, I lived in stirrup pants for years. YEARS! I never wore jeans until I was in high school. We had a school uniform in grade school, but on "Free Fridays" I wore my stirrup pants. Oh yeah. My mom has always told me from a very young age that you should never repeat a fashion twice in your lifetime. So this is it. I'm old. I'm 27 years old and I'm done for. Old. Ancient. An old fogie.
The rest of the night totally sucked. I ended up throwing a temper tantrum that was probably only noticed by myself and walking out. I moped out to my car, paid for parking ($5!) and drove my lame ass self back to the suburbs. I might as well have been going home to an episode of the Golden Girls and a glass of Benefiber.
So, I don't like the P&L. Not at all. I'm not saying I'll never get conned into going there again, but I don't think it will be any time soon.
This past weekend Zach and I went out to Blue Springs with some friends of ours (another old married couple) to hang out at this little dive bar called Special Kay's. And boy was it special! We managed to get pretty buzzed for a mere $15, listen to and participate in (not me) some fantastic karaoke, watch the most random weirdos attempt to dance and break up a fight all in one fun night. I think I'll stick to that for a while.
2 comments:
You can't deny the awesomeness of "small town" dive bars. Twice the character, half the price.
But in all seriousness, these people might not be as educated or monetarily successful, but I'd rather spend time around people being themselves then trying to be something fake.
Originality is priceless. Wearing stirrup pants (WTF?!?!) is not. Major fail.
I couldn't stop laughing when I saw the stirrup pants! I would have laughed even harder if they were matched with neon-colored slouchy socks. I can't believe we used to dress this bad in the 80s.
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