Twenty Sixteen

So, it's been a year since I blogged. I think about this ol' thing all the time and frequently tell myself that I should write something, but then I try to think about what to write. I don't know. I don't want to talk about my kids too much on the internet. I don't want to talk about my job too much on the internet. I don't want to talk about my family too much on the internet. So... not much left, eh?

The kids are good. David is 5 and Ryan is 2. Here are a few things I want to remember about them right now:

David:

• Loves preschool (He goes 2 times a week)
• Is very smart 
• Still in the 97% for height
• His passion for lawn care is still #1. He says he's going to be a "mowing guy" when he grows up
• Very sensitive and caring which also means he easily feels slighted and takes what people say about him very seriously (he is me, in child form)
• Still naps
• Loves to watch movies and is showing interest in video games
• Decided he was done sucking his fingers one day and never looked back
• Would choose to be playing outside over anything else in the world

Ryan: 

• Still looks like a baby
• Just started developing his vocabulary and his voice might be the most adorable thing I've ever heard
• Very much in love with is lovey blankets and paci's
• Refuses to eat nearly everything (I am not joking. The kid is surviving on milk and air)
• An early riser and sometimes bad napper, but never lets it show in his attitude. He's almost always happy
• But when he's not.... watch your back
• My favorite Ryan words right now: "yah yoo" (Love you), "minkles" (Sprinkles...we put them on his food when we get desperate..heh), "what you doin?", "Miss Kaw-wee" (Miss Kerri, our nanny), "Day-id" (David), "Go bye bye", "jammies"
• He calls us "mommy" and "daddy" for the most part, but has started saying "mom" and "dad" a lot too. Sad. 
• Has stick straight, soft as silk hair and we are letting it get a little shaggy because it's adorable and he loves to shake it around

Work is OK. I've been traveling a lot. This year I visited, Vegas (twice), Dallas (twice), Chicago (twice), Columbus OH, Orlando and Springfield MO. In the next three months I already have trips booked to South Dakota, Orlando, NYC and Dallas, but many other cities are on the radar! I work from home twice a week so I'm getting a lot more time at the house and with the kids since my commute is an hour each way when I go to the office. Can't complain! 

Family is... well we are hanging in there. I still mostly feel like I'm living some sort of bad dream that refuses to end. Instead of the days getting better, it seems to get worse as reality sets in. I've been seeing a grief counselor every few weeks and it seems to help a tiny bit. I'm trying to stay as active as I can and keep busy. Everyone says I need to "take some time for myself" but whenever I do that I just feel even worse. So, busy it is. Zach's coming with me to NYC in February so once I get over the fear of leaving my children at home without us for 5 days, it should be good to get away for a bit. 

I'd say I'm glad 2016 is behind us, but what's a year anyway? It's just a date. We aren't going to wake up on Sunday and be cured of all our woes. I guess I'm just kind of a grinch about it, but it is what it is. Don't get me wrong, I'm hopeful that next year is "better" but I'm trying not to wait for a specific day for things to get better. I try to do it every day. Some go better than others. 

Onward...