Friday, December 30, 2016

Twenty Sixteen

So, it's been a year since I blogged. I think about this ol' thing all the time and frequently tell myself that I should write something, but then I try to think about what to write. I don't know. I don't want to talk about my kids too much on the internet. I don't want to talk about my job too much on the internet. I don't want to talk about my family too much on the internet. So... not much left, eh?

The kids are good. David is 5 and Ryan is 2. Here are a few things I want to remember about them right now:


  • Loves preschool (He goes 2 times a week)
  • Is very smart 
  • Still in the 97% for height
  • His passion for lawn care is still #1. He says he's going to be a "mowing guy" when he grows up
  • Very sensitive and caring which also means he easily feels slighted and takes what people say about him very seriously (he is me, in child form)
  • Still naps
  • Loves to watch movies and is showing interest in video games
  • Decided he was done sucking his fingers one day and never looked back
  • Would choose to be playing outside over anything else in the world

  • Still looks like a baby
  • Just started developing his vocabulary and his voice might be the most adorable thing I've ever heard
  • Very much in love with is lovey blankets and paci's
  • Refuses to eat nearly everything (I am not joking. The kid is surviving on milk and air)
  • An early riser and sometimes bad napper, but never lets it show in his attitude. He's almost always happy
  • But when he's not.... watch your back
  • My favorite Ryan words right now: "yah yoo" (Love you), "minkles" (Sprinkles...we put them on his food when we get desperate..heh), "what you doin?", "Miss Kaw-wee" (Miss Kerri, our nanny), "Day-id" (David), "Go bye bye", "jammies"
  • He calls us "mommy" and "daddy" for the most part, but has started saying "mom" and "dad" a lot too. Sad. 
  • Has stick straight, soft as silk hair and we are letting it get a little shaggy because it's adorable and he loves to shake it around

Work is OK. I've been traveling a lot. This year I visited, Vegas (twice), Dallas (twice), Chicago (twice), Columbus OH, Orlando and Springfield MO. In the next three months I already have trips booked to South Dakota, Orlando, NYC and Dallas, but many other cities are on the radar! I work from home twice a week so I'm getting a lot more time at the house and with the kids since my commute is an hour each way when I go to the office. Can't complain! 

Family is... well we are hanging in there. I still mostly feel like I'm living some sort of bad dream that refuses to end. Instead of the days getting better, it seems to get worse as reality sets in. I've been seeing a grief counselor every few weeks and it seems to help a tiny bit. I'm trying to stay as active as I can and keep busy. Everyone says I need to "take some time for myself" but whenever I do that I just feel even worse. So, busy it is. Zach's coming with me to NYC in February so once I get over the fear of leaving my children at home without us for 5 days, it should be good to get away for a bit. 

I'd say I'm glad 2016 is behind us, but what's a year anyway? It's just a date. We aren't going to wake up on Sunday and be cured of all our woes. I guess I'm just kind of a grinch about it, but it is what it is. Don't get me wrong, I'm hopeful that next year is "better" but I'm trying not to wait for a specific day for things to get better. I try to do it every day. Some go better than others. 


Friday, January 1, 2016

When the world doesn't end

Hi! Hello! Welcome 2016, I've been waiting for you.

2015 is a year I was very happy leave behind. That's putting it mildly.

I keep typing out all the bad stuff that happened but it's too depressing and whiney and complainy.  But basically I suffered with a bit of postpartum depression and anxiety, was laid off, my house flooded, my mom got cancer, my mom got even worse cancer, my brother came thisclose to death, Zachs dad got really sick, I didn't get any jobs, I got a job I hated, the 3 year old was especially three, the baby hated eating and sleeping and it felt like my entire life was tornado-ed up and spit me out into a whole other life I had no idea what to do with. It was kind of bad, you guys.

But some good stuff happened too:

-We thought we were going to lose our in-home babysitter when she decided to close, but instead she became our nanny and our boys are loved and thriving and learning so much.
-We got to completely remodel our home and it looks pretty great if I do say so myself.
-I had an entire summer to take care of myself and spend time with the boys. I got to go running nearly every morning and spend precious time with the boys whenever I wanted. I took them to do fun stuff and spent some good time at the lake.
-Zach got a new job. One that basically fell into his lap and he loves it and he feels important and useful and it's finally something he's always wanted to do. It couldn't have come at a better time and allowed me to relax a little as my job search was really wearing me thin.
-I got a job that while I didn't really enjoy, let me ease back into working and feel a little better about life and money and all that.
-Ryan eats and drinks and sleeps so much better. He's happy all the time and a lovey little joy. He's been the light through this all.
-David is coming out of the terrible three's (I think) and he blows us away on a daily basis with how much he knows and has learned. He's no longer as shy and wants to be friends with everyone he meets.
-My mom got news that her cancer is shrinking and she's been a complete and total rock-star through all her treatments. Never missing a beat through the holidays and everything.
-Zach's dad was just released from the hospital after being on life-support just weeks earlier and continues to gain strength daily.
-I got another new job, one I've been gunning for since June. The stars finally aligned and I'll be starting in less than two weeks. I will get to work in an amazing culture with amazing benefits, get to travel a bit, do fun stuff all the time and make a real impact on the community. I can also take my dog (or kid) to work if I want! I'm so excited to start this journey!

So there. 2015. It was a rough 11 months but it ended pretty spectacularly. Looking forward to you, 2016.


Wednesday, November 18, 2015

Ryan is One Year Old

So hey, Ryan turned 1 a month and a half ago! How about that?!

I've been meaning to write this for quite some time. But you know. Life.

If I had to describe Ryan in one word it would be Joy. He is the happiest thing I've ever known. He is goofy, he's sweet, he's sneaky, he's silly, he's fearless, he's healthy, he's patient he's smart, and he is the best thing that could have ever happened this past year.

It's been a really, horribly, awful, difficult, stressful and upsetting year. Thank you God, for giving us Ryan to help us through it. I don't know what we [I] would have done with out him.

So. Here's what he's been up to:

He went from hating his bottles for 11 months to loving them more than anything. What?! Babies. So weird. It took a long while to get him wean off his formula, but we are finally on the all whole milk train and it is great! He will not drink it cold though, so out came the bottle warmer again. He does great with sippy cups, but only if they have water in them. He loves his water!

Much like his brother, he went from eating anything and everything under the sun without complaint to being very picky seemingly overnight. His two favorite foods are bananas and yogurt. He will pretty predictably eat those no matter what (until he burns himself out and then what?!) but everything else is totally hit or miss. He still likes cheese and bread, but hates all vegetables. He doesn't like meat and can be hot or cold when it comes to cheerios. This is my least favorite baby feeding stage, that is for sure.

We are getting there with the sleep. I started making him fuss for a while if he wakes up before 5am. He got in this really yucky phase of waking up at 4am for a bottle and then I could not fall back asleep before my alarm goes off at 5am. It wasn't pretty. Sometimes he's been sleeping all the way until 7am though, so that's pretty exciting. His bedtime is usually 7:15pm right on the nose. He turns into a fussy monster if we try to push it any later.

He started walking two weeks after his birthday and never looked back. He was wobbly for a couple days and then just took off like it was no big deal. He doesn't want any help and boy howdy, is this kid determined. I fear he's going to be my "runaway" kid. With David I could set him down and he'd just stand there right next to me. I put Ryan down at the doctors office for a quick second while reached for my wallet out of the diaper bag and the kid straight up and took off down the hall. Oh man.

He still sucks his binkies. Mostly just in his bed and the car, but if he's fussy or it's getting to be close to bed time I'll let him have them. He requires about seven thousand of them to be in his crib at all times or he will wake up screaming  until he finds one. He has two lovey blankets, little muslin blankets with satin trim. He's become pretty attached to the things too. He carries them around the house all day long and they go wherever he goes. I just ordered a couple emergency backups to keep tucked away, just in case....

He's discovered books and loves them. He will go and pull all his favorite ones off the shelf and sit on the floor and flip through them quietly for a pretty long time considering his age. He will point enthusiastically at his favorite pictures (usually cats) and says "dat!!" when he wants to know what something is. He's not talking near as much as David was at this age, but I expected that. His favorite word is still "Dada" and he toddles around most of the time saying it. "Da-ded" is still David and I'm "Mamama" or just plain ol' "mom", but usually only when he's upset. He also says dog, ball and nuh-uh.

He doesn't like it when I leave the room or the house, but doesn't seem to have much stranger anxiety as long as someone he knows is holding him. And even then, he warms up really quickly.  He's just so darn happy. All the time! I say it all the time too, because it really just blows my mind. I hope he stays like that forever.

Let's see, what else...

He has 8 teeth with his molars on the way. They are taking forever and just look so painful. The top ones are about halfway poked through and the bottom ones will hopefully poke through in the next couple days. He does get a little fussy here and there with them, but has overall been a real teething champ!

He loves bath time. We've started throwing both boys in the tub at the same time and oh man, they love it. Definitely little water babies.

He wears size 18-24 month clothes, size 5.5 shoes, size 4 daytime diapers and size 5's at night. He is super tall and skinny, just like his brother.

I have no idea what color his eyes are.  I know, right? I think they are blue? But really dark blue, with maybe some hazel or green coming in. Honestly, they almost look grey. I guess a little more time will tell....

His hair keeps getting lighter and lighter.  It is SO SOFT though. Oh my goodness, he has the softest hair ever. The back is still pretty dark, so I think once he's older he'll have dark hair, but it will probably be light brown when he's little. I don't see it turning blonde like David's, but I said the same thing when he was a baby...

That's about it. I cannot believe he's one. It makes my heart hurt a whole lot with how fast that went. I honestly feel like I was just pregnant. What a ride though.

So there you have it. Little baby Ryan is now Little Toddler Ryan. I can't wait to see what's next.

Tuesday, September 8, 2015

Ryan is 11 Months Old!

Just one more month until our little baby Ryan is 1 year old! Unbelievable!

Month 11 has flown by at lightning speed. Mostly because we've been dealing with what seems like a thousand house issues and repairs. Painting, new floors, new AC, new furniture, new decor! It's going to be a brand new house before we are done with this. Ryan's just been along for the ride, happy as can be.

He's a mobile little guy. He crawls so, so fast and is starting to cruise around quite expertly. He's stood on his own for a couple seconds here and there, but no walking yet. He does like to push his walker toy around and loves to hold hands and walk across the floor. David is so excited for him to walk. He tells everyone he see's "Ryan can stand with his own feet sometimes!" He doesn't seem bothered at all by all the new hardwood and keeps on keeping on!
He's quite the eater and loves meal time. We cannot eat unless he eats too. Even snacks. He will climb all over you and bang on you until you give him a bite of whatever you have. He's also been taking his bottles a lot better too. Of course, the month before we start to wean them. But, overall he still really prefers his regular food. He's even started shaking his head no at baby food. He wants the real stuff. His favorite things are; grapes, cheese, yogurt, carrots and banana. He also goes crazy when he sees a bag of yogurt melts, he loves them! He has 6 teeth (4 top and 2 bottom) and he's had them for about 3 months now. He hasn't got a new one in a long time! Sometimes I think there's more on the way then nothing happens.

He's starting to babble a ton and say actual words. So far he's got:
Dada (#1 favorite word)
Da-ded (David)
Te-tuh (Tedder)
Me (Missy)
 He's working on a lot more. I'm not sure if he'll talk quite as much as David did though. That kid was speaking in sentences by the time he was 18 months.

 He's going to be a climber. I can already tell. He's tried to scale the back of the couch on numerous occasions and he's gotten up on the entertainment center nook a few times now. He's strong and determined. I am bracing myself.
He still takes two naps a day but I think he's about ready to cut back to one. He spends at least a half hour each naptime sitting in his bed talking and playing with his binkies, blankies and stuffed animals. He LOVES those binkies. I try to only let him have them in bed or in the car, but sometimes he suckers us into letting him have them other times too. He still wakes up around 5am for a bottle almost every night. Sometimes he skips it but not too often.
I guess a bit of news I have is that I'm going back to work! I got a job that starts in a little less than two weeks, so there's that. I'll talk about it more after I actually start. I'm a little superstitious about these sorts of things. But I have LOVED LOVED LOVED being able to be around Ryan these past three and a half months. I always used to say I wish I could take maternity leave after the newborn phase is over because that's the best part so I'm really thankful to have been here for all the fun stuff. I will miss both David and Ryan terribly but I'm ready to get out of the house and adult for awhile.

We have a busy fall coming up. His baptism is in two weeks, we are going to try to get up to Northwest for a game and his first birthday party is right around the corner. I ordered the invitations the other night and I just can't believe it's time!
What a ride! Here's to the last month of babyhood!

Friday, August 14, 2015

Ryan is 10 Months Old!

Ten months old! How does this happen?! Time is certainly zipping right along.

If I had to use one word to describe Ryan it would be CURIOUS. He is into everything! He is constantly moving around and exploring. He is quick on the draw too and can grab anything in a split second if he wants it bad enough. I spend most of my time following him around and making sure he doesn't eat every piece of fuzz or crumb he finds (how do they find every single little crumb!?) He crawls at the speed of light, pulls up to his feet no problem and has started cruising along furniture.
We are currently going through a bit of a home renovation. The hall bathroom flooded big time and we are replacing all the flooring in the house except for the bedrooms. So currently the hallway is down to the sub-floor which means Ryan can't crawl on it, so we are pretty much restricted to the living room and dining room. We are all going a little bit crazy and Ryan wants nothing more than to explore the hallway and go from room to room. Hopefully we get the new floors soon and he can have free reign again.

One of his favorite things to do is play in David's room. David loves it too. They both like the train table and Ryan quickly dismantles anything that David puts together. He loves to mimic whatever David does too. When David is playing with cars or tractors Ryan grabs one and pushes it around making the same motor sounds. It is flipping adorable!

His next most favorite thing to do is eat. Holy macaroni, this kid is an eater. He devours anything we give him. He wants whatever we have too. He will grab and squack at us until we give him bites of what we are eating. His favorites are pancakes, bananas, carrots, greenbeans, banana bread, cookies (duh) cheese and yogurt. He doesn't really have anything he doesn't like....except bottles. I've given up. He drinks what he drinks and we don't worry about it. Whatever, man.

I'd really rather not talk about sleep. It's totally hit or miss. I'd say most of the time he sleeps until 5am and wakes up to eat and then goes back down for a couple more hours. Once in a blue moon he will wake up more than that and then sometimes he sleeps all the way until 6:30. He still takes two naps, but I think he's about ready to go to one nap, which will be really nice as far as getting out of the house and doing things goes. David still takes his afternoon nap so it will be great to have them both on the same schedule.

And some other fun stats:
-Wears 12-18 month clothes. I can still stuff him in some 9 month stuff but I've mostly put it away. He's in 18 month sleepers and onesies for sure.
-Wears a size 5 shoe, which is pretty much impossible to find. Target, why don't you have more baby/toddler shoes! Seriously!!! He's also worn out one pair so far. David has yet to wear out a pair of shoes in his three and a half years of life, but Ryan destroys one in less than two months?! Once he's in a 5.5 he'll be in David's hand me down Stride Rite shoes, hopefully those fit better.
-Says "Dada" and "Mama" but mostly just Dada. I think he says "Ba" for bottle and "me" for Missy, but you just never really know.
-Shakes his head "no" when he doesn't want to do something, like put on his pajamas and sleep sack, yet he cannot sleep without the sleep sack. I'd like to ditch it, but he depends on that thing.
-Does have little lovey blankets that he adores. They are little muslin blankets with satin trim and he rubs them on his face to fall alseep.
-I still don't have a job. Hahahaha. Sigh.
-Waves! Well not really "waves" so much as puts his hand up in the air toward you every time someone walks in the room. It's hilarious. 

So, there it is. We are in the home stretch of his first year. I've started getting his birthday party all planned out and I just got his shirt for the big day in the mail yesterday. It's pretty much the cutest thing I've ever seen. On to month 11!

He wasn't feeling the monthly photo shoot this month. Poor bubba!

Wednesday, July 22, 2015

Ryan is 9 Months Old!

So, Ryan is actually almost 10 months old and I'm just now getting around to this post. Poor little second baby.... But I want to be sure to capture his 9 month pictures and update, so here goes...

Height: 30.25" (95%)
Weight: 20lbs 11oz (50%)
Another tall and skinny one!

Pulls up to his knees all the time and has even tried to climb the couch cushions on occasion!

LOVES food and gobbles up anything we give him.... except his bottles, he still hates those.

Adores his brother, wants every single toy he has. He also loves Missy and we have to keep him from crawling all over her all day, even though she doesn't care in the least.

Happily goes along with anything. He is so laid back. He went to two town fairs this month and happily chilled out in his stroller and the Ergo the whole time. He's a dream baby!

He's still not sleeping through the night, but I really think we are getting there!

I've been home all month and while the circumstances aren't exactly the best, I am absolutely loving being home right now while he's this age. He does something new and adorable every day and it is SO NICE to be able to pop in and see what he's doing whenever I want (the nanny still comes because as it turns out looking for a job is a full-time job in and of itself...) He's so cute and so loveable and he is a total mama's baby. I just love this age so, so much!

And now for a whole bunch of pictures in no particular order because I don't have the patience to mess around with the formatting. Yay! 

David took this picture and I kind of love it :)

See you in a couple weeks for his 10 month post. TEN MONTHS?! How can that be?!

Thursday, June 11, 2015

Ryan is 8 Months Old!

Oh Ryan, he's 8 months old! How can can that be?! He's the sweetest, cutest, most wonderful little dude! I want to freeze time right now because he's so awesome!

Month 8 was a pretty big one for him! He's doing all sorts of new things and it's exciting and scary how fast it's all happening!  
He has started eating some big boy food! He still loves his baby cereal and baby food but he's also taking little bites of whatever we are eating and has developed quite the love affair with yogurt melts! No choking or gagging, just gobbles them right up! He gets so excited to eat. We used to be able to eat while he played, but no longer! He's gotta get in on the action too.
Unfortunately, he still hates those bottles. He will drink enough to take the edge off and then he's done. I'm lucky to get him to drink more than 4 ounces at a time. Usually, it's more like 3. And he's a big guy! I am doing pretty good about not  FREAKING OUT about it, but man it would be nice if he'd just drink! I'm in the process of switching his formula because I don't think he needs the 'sensitive' formula anymore and the main ingredient in that stuff is corn syrup. Not cool. So far he's handling it well, so I hope to be back on the regular milk-based stuff soon. Maybe he'll like it more?

Sleep? Oh sleep. Hahahaha. I thought he was on the road to sleeping through the night but I was wrong. He had a couple weeks where he woke up at 3am to eat and the past week it's been more like 4am and then the last two nights it was 5am. Maybe he's working his way to 7?? I want him to sleep through the night but I also want him to eat and the only time he will down a full bottle without fighting me is in the middle of the night, so we do it. He's only little once, right?  He does take great naps and is overall very happy so we can't complain.
The most exciting thing his 8th month brought was CRAWLING! He is on the move, in a big way. I went to the lake over Memorial Day and Zach said he was crawling a little tiny bit but then in the next two days he really took off. He's all about it! He knows exactly where he wants to go and he will get there, by god! As I suspected, he's going to be the "get in to everything" baby. David never got in to anything, so we never really had to baby proof, save for the gate at the stairs. But this one? Oh man. He's going to give us a run for our money. Currently his most favorite things are the dog toys and cords. He can find a cord anywhere!!!

I'm pretty sure he has one word. I think it's Dada, but it could also be David or Dog. Or maybe he's saying them all? He babbles and jabbers all the time, so I think he'll be talking up a storm like his brother before we know it! 

Speaking of his brother, they love eachother! David is so excited to go get him when he wakes up and Ryan just smiles so big at him. They are starting to play together a little bit too. David is learning not to take his toys away from him and Ryan is learning to speak up when he's not happy! This is going to be a noisy house!

Other fun stuff:
Clothes - In size 12 months for the most part. Some things he can get away with in 9 months, and other things he could probably use 18 months
Diapers - In size 4 for night time and 3 during the day, but the next box I'll get him 4s
Weight - not sure! Definitely over 20 pounds. He goes to the doctor next month, I can't wait to see
Eyes- Blue-green right now. Definitely darker than Davids, but they don't look like they'll be turning brown
Bedtime - Usually 7:30pm
Favorite Food - all of it. The only thing he hasn't liked is avocado
Favorite Toys- Anything David has, his activity cube, Sophie the giraffe, rings, shape sorter, ring stacker and activity table
Cutest thing- When he wakes up or whenever you pick him up he will touch your face and put his forehead to yours. It is the sweetest thing ever.
Not so cutest thing- I'm pretty sure he wants to scratch my face off
Loves - Bathtime, dinner time, crawling
Hates - putting on his pajamas, putting on his sleep sack and getting his face wiped
Funniest: He has the best belly laugh. And he's SO ticklish! 
 So, here's to 8 months bubba! Can't wait to see what the next one brings! 

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Greenwood, Missouri, United States